


Catharsis

by aviswrites



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 19:38:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7770406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aviswrites/pseuds/aviswrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You will not see me cry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catharsis

As the Dark Lord points his wand at her, Lily knows. She knows exactly who betrayed them.

Peter Pettigrew. Little Pete, all big smiles next to Sirius' devilish grins and Remus' tight, serious face. Little Pete, who always laughed a tad too loud when her husband made a joke. Little bloody Pete, who twirled her around at her wedding and who always brought Harry sweets. Little Pete. James' best mate. Her friend.

She can’t help but wonder if her husband realised the same thing before he died.

Another realization ponders her mind. She is going to die tonight.

The first two people she thinks of are her parents. She thinks about her father, who didn't live to see the birth of his grandson and her mother, who will live to see his death.

She thinks of her sister Petunia. Poor Tuney, who wanted magic so badly. Tuney, who spit and screamed and cursed her every summer she came home from Hogwarts. _I'm glad you're not like me, big sister. I'm glad that there isn't a drop of magic in you. Your husband and you will raise little Dudley and grow old together. This is the last time I'm ever going to hold my son._

She thinks of Severus. Sev. Snape. _Did you do this, Sev? Did you send him for us? You and Pete, together? Oh, Sev. My dear friend, you greedy bloody coward. I wish my love was enough for you._

She thinks of Sirius and Remus. She can't think of one without another. Images flash through her head: Sirius, a little boy, hugging James and Peter, ruffling Remus' hair. Fifteen year old boy, sitting alone in library, thick transfiguration book in his hand. Sirius, almost a man now, coming to James' door in the middle of a night, swallowing his tears. Him and Remus sitting next to each other, Remus' eyes all red, Sirius’ hand draped over werewolf's shoulders. Best mates, they called each other, but Lily always saw there was more to that. Sirius, always quick to love and quick to hate and Remus, who loved everyone but himself.

Lily saves her husband and her son for the end. She thinks about James, snobby little boy who grew up into one of the greatest men she ever knew. James, who asked her out a dozen times with a playful smile and that one time he did exactly the same, but with a serious face and a shaky voice. James, who always tickled her and played with her fingers and kissed her freckles whenever she was mad. Him kneeling before her, his mother's ring in his hand. Her husband, holding a small bundle in his arms, his eyes shining.

"Harry," James saying quietly, "we'll call him Harry."

Lily reaching out and grabbing his hand, "Harry James."

James, who stood quietly above Harry that night he heard what those monsters did to Longbottoms. He stood there for hours, one hand gripping the cradle and the other wiping his eyes. Lily stood by him with her hand on his back, for the first time in her life not knowing what to say. Her husband, her beautiful, wonderful husband who ran off to stop Dark Lord without his wand, brave in his death as he was brave in his life.

She thinks about her son, tiny Harry. Mop of black hair on his head and smile from ear to ear from the moment he was born. Her little boy, with his chubby hands always grabbing, searching, exploring. He ran before he could even properly walk and hugged strangers on the street as they were family. Her son, who is as sweet and curious as he is stubborn and bull-headed. He might look exactly as his father, with his black hair and tan skin, but he is her son through and through.

She looks at Harry for what she knows is the last time. Even now, her boy doesn't cry. He just stares at her with those huge green eyes.

_Oh, Harry. You should have grown up. We should have watched as you got your Hogwarts letter. We would have waved to you as you boarded that train with tears in our eyes and smiles on our faces. I would buy you your first broom and James would send you fifteen page analysis about Quidditch every week. You would come to us every winter and summer break full of stories: about magic, your new founded friends, strict McGonagall and lovable, kind Hagrid. As you would get older, we would fight a lot. I would find your first pack of cigs and I would scream my head off with your father standing beside me, looking confused. James would yell at you every time you would sneak off to Hogsmeade and your godfather would wink at you behind our backs._

_In your final years at Hogwarts, our house would always be full of people during the summer vacation. Your friends, boys and girls alike, although a few girls stared at you more intensely than others, but I would never said a word. I would understand how it felt to be young. A few months after the end of your seventh year, you would bring home a girl with hair as gold as sun and shy smile. You would date almost eight years before getting married. I would understand that too- no war, no need for rushed marriages. You would have two children together and they would both have your beautiful smile and one would even have your, **our** , green eyes. You would be happy and your father and I would grow old together and he would still kiss my freckles and run his fingers through my greying hair. _

Lily's eyes meet the ones of Dark Lord. She already ran and begged and cursed and prayed, to whatever God there is, but to no avail. He would not stop, would not spare her no matter what she did. This man, who murdered her husband, who would now kill her and her child, this creature who knew nothing of mercy, of love. Dark Lord smirked and opened his mouth and Lily Potter was dead before her body hit the ground, one final thought on her mind:

_You will not see me cry._


End file.
